i want to do that

a journey from thick to thin

100% preventable

Posted by iwanttodothat on April 27, 2010

When you’re as big as I am, there is no “hiding” the weight. Everyone can see it. Everyone knows that you have some sort of issue that is making you do that to yourself. Imagine if all of the other things you like to hide were written with a fat Sharpie on Post-It Notes and stuck all over your body, including your forehead, for everyone to see. That is the same as being morbidly obese. Except I can’t peel off the Post-Its and throw them in the trash. My Post-Its are pretty much stuck there on my big butt for everyone to see.

So, I’m gradually peeling off those sticky notes and incinerating them! One by one. It’s not easy figuring out why you really engage in self-destructive behavior, but once you do, you have an opportunity to make things better. If you let people in on your big secret, you have that much more support. People DO care. Look, my weight is not a secret. You can see how much I weigh just by looking at me. (288 at last count, FYI). This might be a surprise to some of you, but if you are fat, people can see that you have issues even if you don’t know yourself. It’s easy to get to a point and be so overwhelmed by it that you begin to disassociate your inner self from your physical self. It’s easy to treat it like a separate thing and ignore it. It doesn’t make it disappear. Maybe it gets compartmentalized just so you can deal with everyday life, but it doesn’t go away on its own. If you continue to ignore it, it will continue to be there for the rest of your life, which will unfortunately be a lot shorter than it ought. I guess that means you won’t have to deal with it for much longer. That plan doesn’t work for me. I’m not interested in letting my kids watch me slowly kill myself by neglect. This is an illness that is 100% preventable.

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