i want to do that

a journey from thick to thin

Archive for the ‘Diary’ Category

Happy 2012!!!

Posted by iwanttodothat on January 1, 2012

It’s a new year and a new start! Like 2011, I’m ringing in the new year with a month-long triathlon challenge! Our new team name is The Incredible Machine and so far we have 14 members. The goal is to complete as many Long Distance triathlons as we can this month, as a team! Last year, our team of 23 completed nearly 10!!!

The official distance (Iron Man distance) is 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running. This year, each member has a goal of completing one of these themselves, or you can barter your miles with teammates. For instance, I’m more of a swimmer than a biker, so I might swim the miles for a couple of other people who don’t swim at all in exchange for them biking a good chunk of my bike miles.

This year is going to be great! I’m back!!!

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Remember January?

Posted by iwanttodothat on September 23, 2011

Hey, friends! Long time, no see.

I have fallen and am having a terrible time getting back up. I’ve gained almost all of my weight back. Disappointing, I know. I’m incredibly pissed off at myself and am feeling like I can’t get my mojo back.

A few updates…

The challenge my friends and I did in January turned out to be an awesome experience! I personally swam over 12 miles that month! What have I done since then? Absolutely nothing.

Cut to the present… I’m back up to 3xx lbs (don’t make me say it) and one of my fitness buddies asked me to swim on her triathlon relay team. She will bike 10 miles, and another friend will run 3 miles. I will be swimming .33 miles in the open water at Ft. DeSoto. This is one month from now. What was I thinking? I should be swimming 4x/week, hardcore, to meet this challenge. So, I will be posting my swimming log here for a little bit of accountability. It would be great if I shed 20 pounds this month, too, but I’m just going to go for the swimming bit right now. My goal here is to finish the swim, alive.

That’s all there is to report at this time. I’m trying to get back in there. I just feel so damaged by some negativity that occurred during the last go around, that the little voice inside my head that whispers “you can’t do that” gained some ground. It’s incredibly frustrating. I can do any damn thing I want to do. I don’t know why it always has to be about competition with me, but it does. I was raised to be competitive. I was also raised hearing a little voice that said “you can do better” or “you’re not good enough.” I’ve been torn with this conflict as long as I can remember. Why don’t I feel like I deserve the absolute best? What is it that makes me not finish things? Why can I start like a rockstar and turn into an also-ran?

Dear God, help me accept the people I cannot change. Help me finish what I start. Forgive me for being a huge pain in the ass, a liar, a manipulator, and a procrastinator. Thank you for your mercy and grace, even when I am too self-involved to see it and accept it. I will try harder in the future to understand this. I will stop apologizing for myself and take responsibility for everything I say and do. I can get through anything with You beside me. Help me finish strong. Amen.

Posted in Diary, Triathlon | 2 Comments »

Happy New Year!

Posted by iwanttodothat on January 4, 2011

Happy New Year, Dear Readers! I mentioned in my last post that there was big news coming, and there truly is!

21 of my friends and I are competing in the Iron Distance Challenge this month! This is a month-long distance challenge where individuals and teams compete by completing as many Iron Mans as they can (2.4 miles swimming, 112 miles biking, 26.2 miles running.) This particular challenge is being held by the TriGals out of Westchase. They seem like a wonderful group of women striving for friendship and fitness!

I hosted a little gathering at my house on December 29th and invited a bunch of friends who have been very supportive throughout my fitness journey. Since I fell off the wagon last year, I had to analyze why that happened so I wouldn’t repeat that mistake. Last year, I got started on my journey alone.  Yes, I had the support of my husband, but we weren’t doing it together; it was my new thing. I took that experience with having a personal trainer 3x/week and learned everything I could from her. I have to say that the most important thing I learned was that I CAN do it! I ran, I boxed, I jumped, I skipped, I lunged, I lifted, and I lost a lot of weight. It is not impossible for me to move it and lose it! I also discovered that I enjoyed it. I love to feel the muscles developing in my body and the greater ease of movement all over. I enjoyed the aspect of running that I was actually moving my body faster than ever. I was doing that. I also started fencing. That’s something that I never thought I could really do.

So, the morning of my gathering, I got out all of my race bibs, medals, and pictures, and made a collage. This was an extremely emotional activity for me and I realized I probably should’ve done it six months ago. It was very motivating and hopefully it was motivating for my friends.

As you can see, I was busy last year! I had a great time and am looking forward to my next race!

I just want to give a huge shout out to my teammates! Thank you to Jon, Karla, Bryan, Laura, Clyde, Patrice, Hugues, Robin, Crystal, Dale, Terri, Fontaine, JoAnn, Shari, Shirley, Michele, Sharon, Traci, David, Melissa, and Carrie! Y’all are truly wonderful friends! Let’s do this!

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December Update

Posted by iwanttodothat on December 30, 2010

Hey, friends! Long time, no see, right? Lots of things have been going on this Fall, and I’m really ready for Winter and Spring.

I want to give a big ol’ shout out to GearJunkie! I won a pair of Vibram Treksport Five Fingers! Remember that I lost one of my VFFs in the Gulf of Mexico over the summer? Well, Santa must’ve heard my plea for a new pair! They are gorgeous!

Now, for the juicy tidbits…

Confessional time… I did great on the Paleo Diet for a couple of months recently, and I fell off the wagon completely starting with a piece of birthday cake. Why is this significant? In Mark Sisson’s The Primal Blueprint, he talks about his own birthday party and not eating a piece of his own cake. A guest asks him how he keeps so fit and looking good; he responds with, “I don’t eat cake.” Or something to that effect. Pardon my paraphrasing, Mark! That dialogue has plagued me since I read it. It’s one of those moments that makes perfect sense. When my head is in the game, paleo-wise, it’s very easy for me to stick to it, but when I’m not present in the moment, it’s easy to fall back into the culture surrounding me and have a piece of cake like everyone else at the party. Peer pressure? I don’t think so, totally. I think it’s so ingrained culturally, that it is difficult work to retrain those reactions and the decision-making process for food.

How did I spend my summer? Well, Mostly I spent time with my mom. She had back surgery and now has some titanium hardware in her lower back. She was doing well, then about 2 weeks post-op, she had a serious reaction to the sutures and she went for another surgery. They opened her back up, cleaned it all out and put in a wound-vac – no sutures. What a mess. She’s doing great now, and getting around very well with a cane. Hooray!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and is making plans for a great 2011! I know I am. Big news coming!

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Day 26 of the Paleo Diet

Posted by iwanttodothat on September 16, 2010

Well, I’m still working this program! I’m down about 15 pounds and I feel really good. I’m not physically craving anything, either. If I were to make a poor decision and eat a cupcake or something, I’d probably go ahead and eat 3 cupcakes and take a long carb crash nap and feel hungover. Choosing food is incredibly simple on this diet. There is no measuring and I like that. If I didn’t plan well for lunch or whatever, skipping a meal hasn’t meant disaster because I’m just not hungry. My sugar levels feel like they are stable, although I don’t measure them because I’m not diabetic. I haven’t had any kind of crash-napping at all.

My life is really all about good clean animal proteins, fruits, and vegetables. I can see this being a very sustainable way of life.

I am getting over a cold that I got from my kids. It was inevitable. The whole house has been sick with back-to-school colds. Add ragweed/chenopods blooming right now, and it’s a mess for some of us.

I loaded up my new Kindle with The Paleo Diet and The Primal Blueprint so I can study a little bit wherever I happen to be. I’m sure there are other resources out there, but that’s what I’m starting with.

I’m planning to start working out again next week. I should be completely well by then and ready to bust it at the gym. I need to start working out again so I can get back to fencing and have some real fun!

Keep plugging away at your goals! I am!

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Day 14 Done!

Posted by iwanttodothat on September 4, 2010

I’m feeling back on track now. With 2 weeks of the Paleo Diet done, I’m starting to feel like I did a year ago when I started changing my diet. My sodium intake has gone way down and I can tell by my hands and feet, in particular. Any kind of puffiness is gone. My rings are off again, and my extremities are cold all the time.

I can feel a change in my upper abdomen. Maybe less puffiness? I’m not sure if it’s because of no grains, no dairy, or a combination of the two. Possibly weight loss, too. You just accept things for so long and think they are normal. I’m not sure if this is a real change or wishful thinking.

The most awesome thing so far was that during my monthly cycle, I experienced NO symptoms (other than the obvious one!) Seriously, none. Not one cramp, twinge, headache, nap… nothing. That in itself was a really huge benefit.

I’m having to remind myself that eating a big ol’ hunk of bread is just not worth it. I’m 14 days into a very strict 30 days, and I really want to make it without breaking down. I’m hoping to see enough changes that I don’t have to convince myself to keep eating like this. I shouldn’t need any convincing at all.

Today, I read a couple of good articles that really spoke to me:

  • The Whole30 – Great site to pump you up to try a squeaky clean eating plan for 30 days. You can do it!
  • Smoking Candy Cigarettes – Extremely well-written article/rant. Just plain awesome.

And finally, I came across the sad story of Garrett, a 28-year old weight-loss blogger, who lost his life way too early. His blog Stages of Change chronicles his recent years of struggle, despair, recovery, hope, and an unwillingness to give up on believing he would figure his mess out.

I’m trying to get my act together. I need to have serious boundaries like a strict Paleo eating style. I will take a mile if given an inch. I require supervision. I succeed when I have deadlines and rules. When I think in my head, “I can’t eat dairy,” that’s the end of the story. I can’t eat dairy. When I start thinking, “Well, I never had a problem with dairy before I went on this diet, so I could probably eat the ice cream and nothing will happen,” I will most certainly find myself at the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry’s trying to lick the bottom, and wondering what flavor I can eat next. I have no idea what my real physiological symptoms of dairy consumption have been, because I just turned off anything that resembled discomfort from eating. When eating is a major source of pleasure, you will endure whatever the consequences are. I am living proof of that, since I’ve ignored weight gain as a consequence of pleasure eating.

Finding healthy alternatives is difficult. I’m still working on that and probably will be for some time to come. Learning to fence was a highlight of this past year, and I took the summer off. Now, I’m out of shape and really want to lose another 30 pounds before I show up to start fencing again.

While I’ve made great strides in my diet these past weeks, I’m still on the starting block with my fitness program. I’m dealing with some personal stress and failure that I need to let go. I’ll be blogging about that this coming week.

Posted in Diary, Fencing, Paleo | 3 Comments »

Day 1, Year 2

Posted by iwanttodothat on August 31, 2010

Well, today is the first day of a new year in my journey to good health. I’m also on Day 10 of the Paleo Diet and I’m still in compliance there!

I’ve learned a lot over the last year and I’m going to share some of those things with you this week as I look back over the year.

I am not stuck in a rut or abandoning you, but it’s back to school time in our house and we have crazy schedules this week and next, so bear with me!

More to come this week!

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Day 4 – Paleo Rocks!

Posted by iwanttodothat on August 25, 2010

I’m totally digging the Paleo Diet. Already, weight is coming off. (Yes, I know this is the water-weight-loss stage, mostly due to lowered salt intake, but I’m taking it!) I’m drinking more fluids. I’m going to the bathroom every 1-2 hours it seems, just like I did when I was in major weight loss mode last Fall. The reduction in my salt intake is already making a difference, too. I swam 14 laps today (better than nothing) and my wedding ring was not staying on. During this past year’s weight loss, I had to take it off because it kept falling off every time I washed my hands, and it also flew off while I was playing the piano. I put it back on a month or so ago, and it’s been staying on. It’s back on my jewelry tree. I just don’t want to lose it.

Basically, I’m already feeling better. Is it this specific diet? It’s early to tell. My caloric intake has been between 1300-1400 calories each day, and that’s about where it should be for my weight loss plan. My protein intake is also high enough to sustain substantial physical activity (which I really need to get busy with!) I’ve also been able to stop eating for at least 4 hours before bed.

Today, on my diet tracking, which I do on SparkPeople.com, my total calories were divided almost equally over the 5 meals/snacks today. If you’ve never tracked your food, the Nutrition Tracker there is really something. When you’re done with entering all of your meals for the day, you can get a final report that breaks down the numbers in several ways. This is very useful to me. I was beyond thrilled to see my five meals coming in equally like that. I’m retraining my body’s eating schedule properly. I’m also trying to get most of my carbs before noon, with a piece of fruit in the afternoon.

One other noticeable thing tonight… I felt very clear-headed while I was at work. What work? I am church musician, and we had choir rehearsal tonight. I could notice a difference in my ability to focus and let my fingers do what they are trained to do. I wasn’t second-guessing myself so much, and I didn’t have any moments where I thought, “Where am I on the page, and what am I doing? What key are we in?” Not that I think like that all the time, mind you, but I do have moments like that. I’ll admit that I don’t think as clearly when I’m all sugared up and full of carbs.

Anything that helps my ability to focus is worth a second look.

My sleeping is better this week. When my eating is out of control, I stay up way too late, sleep like the dead, and stay there way too late, too. I also want to take a nap after sitting still for 15 minutes. I haven’t had any of that this week.

Female business ahead. You’ve been warned.

Today is only Day 4 of doing the Paleo thing, and I completely managed to stick to the plan even though I started my monthly cycle today. (Mom, if you’re reading this, yes, I’m talking about my period on my blog. Deal.) Normally, I would’ve been carb-loading like a Sumo wrestler at the state fair, and I didn’t do it this week. This may not seem like a big deal to a lot of folks, but it is to me and the people I live with. I’m sure they are appreciating this change right now.

I hope I’m not speaking too soon, but I’m really digging Paleo. One more thing, compliance has been easy.

Click here for a great definition of Paleo Nutrition. I like to think of it as pre-technology food. If a food needs to be processed to be digested (ground, boiled, etc.), then it’s not on the list. Right now, I’m not hard core (aka NeanderThin folks). I’m just trying to get a handle on life without dairy and grains. We’ve been legume-free for years due to an allergy in the household. For that member of our family, I’m wondering if this might help with other health ailments.

I’m going to keep reading and researching and hopefully will have some interesting things to share regarding our “allergic” family member.

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Day 3

Posted by iwanttodothat on August 24, 2010

Today was weird. I had breakfast, then I grazed a little bit, and had dinner. Here it goes.

Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs, 1T salsa, 4 slices Canadian bacon (not the greatest in the salt dept.)
Grazing: honeydew, 3oz roast beef, handful of raw almonds (2x)
Dinner: pork roast, broccoli, 2T Amish apple butter (on my pork)

Truth be told, I was hungry at breakfast, but I haven’t really been hungry enough to eat a big ol’ meal. In fact, I only ate about 2/3 of what I served myself for supper because I was stuffed. I didn’t exactly have a full plate, either. I know that I need to drink a lot more water because (1)I’m feeling a little dehydrated, (2)need to help my liver out with all the protein processing, and (3)I had a charlie horse in my right calf this morning that left it feeling bruised and sore.

One area that I really need to work on is the amount of Splenda I’m consuming. I want to wean myself off of it, but it’s difficult. I love to put Crystal Light in my water bottle. I’m trained to expect it there. I also chew a lot of Extra gum. I agree that chewing gum is a bad habit, but right now it’s helping me. One thing at a time, right?

I didn’t get my cardio in today like I thought I would. We had a torrential downpour most of the day. (Plenty of excuses. I have a Wii Fit Plus, jump ropes, weights, Jillian Michaels DVDs, etc. I could’ve done it if I’d put forth more effort.) I’m planning to swim tomorrow, and Thursday, I’m planning to go to a beginner spin class at the YMCA. Today, I did stop by the Y to pick up my Tampa Tri Team dri-fit t-shirt. Maybe I’ll put it on with some workout clothes tomorrow. I’m hoping for a little external motivation there. There’s a sprint triathlon coming up at the end of October that I could aim for. It’s not too far away to lose sight of, and it’s not too soon that I couldn’t be ready for it. I’m thinking about it…

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I’m going Paleo!

Posted by iwanttodothat on August 21, 2010

Tomorrow, I’m going totally Paleo. I will be posting links, recipes, helpful hints, and pictures of what I’m eating. It’s going to be interesting. What does this mean? I’ll be gluten-free, dairy-free, legume-free, grain-free, sugar-free, chemical-free, process-free…

Why am I doing this? It seems pretty drastic, I know. Well, studies show (my life study) that I cannot control myself with starchy foods, sugar, grains, etc., and I think this is wreaking havoc with my hormones. I am a food addict. I cannot have even the tiniest bite of cake and my impulse control is gone. I’ll eat the whole piece and while I’m eating it, I’m trying to figure out how I can score another piece. Nobody needs 2 pieces of cake. I will definitely be writing more about this new chapter as I travel down new paths and carve out new ways of managing my eating.

Yes, exercise is important and I’m not going to neglect that part of it, but for me, conquering the food problem is the worst of it.

Here’s a general picture of a paleo ingredient list:


  • All kinds of meats, poultry, and seafood
  • Eggs
  • Vegetables (NO potatoes, sweet potatoes, legumes, starchy foods)
  • Nuts and Seeds
  • Fruits (in moderation)
  • Wine (in moderation)


  • Dairy
  • Legumes
  • Peanuts
  • Sugar
  • Added salt
  • Starchy vegetables
  • Grains (including rice)
  • Grain-like seeds (amaranth, buckwheat, quinoa)

1/3 protein
2/3 fruit

Snack 1: handful of raw almonds and a small apple

1/3 protein
1/3 vegetable
1/3 fruit

Snack 2: handful of raw almonds and some dried fruit

1/3 protein
2/3 vegetable

No eating 4 hours before bedtime.

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